


All in All

by sublime42



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Crying, M/M, Panic Attacks, nervous!Jaskier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24029866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublime42/pseuds/sublime42
Summary: Geralt takes on a very dangerous contract and Jaskier panics when he doesn't return back on time.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 11
Kudos: 153





	All in All

Jaskier paced the room nervously, a feeling of nausea working its way through him.

Geralt was supposed to have returned nearly a day prior. While it wasn’t unusual for his contracts to sometimes take more time than usual, most of them weren’t as dangerous as the one he’d embarked on.

Two strygas and a possible werewolf. 

Jaskier had begged him not to go. It wasn’t worth it. Or if he had to, couldn’t he contact one of his brothers to help? Even Yen? Someone? It just seemed far too risky. 

But Geralt had insisted. He could handle it, he’d said. Everything would be fine. And no, Jaskier could not come along. He was to stay at the inn until Geralt returned.

Sighing, Jaskier glanced out the window, noticing that it was dusk. It just made him more nervous. Geralt should have returned by then. 

A million scenarios ran through his mind, but he seemed to be focusing on two. One where Geralt was injured and alone, and another where Geralt had already perished.

He wanted to go and find him. He knew the roads decently enough after all. But if Geralt _was_ alright, and he found out that Jaskier had left to look for him, he would surely be angry.

Jaskier swallowed back the saliva that had started collecting in his mouth. He needed to get out of the room. Maybe talking to someone would help.

00

Rosemary, the bartender, was a good listener. Middle aged with a lot of life experience and an extroverted demeanor, she could get on with anyone. She and Jaskier had hit it off almost immediately when he and Geralt had arrived.

Seeing as how it was mid-week, the tavern wasn’t too busy. Jaskier took a seat on a stool near the bar and waited for Rosemary to notice him. It only took her a few seconds.

“Why the long face?” She asked, as she poured him an ale. 

Jaskier blinked, noticing that he was about to cry. He couldn’t do that. Not in front of others. He took a moment to compose himself, but he was too late. Rosemary had noticed and she placed a hand on his arm.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, her tone softer.

“Geralt. He… He was supposed to return this morning,” he answered, his heart rate picking up as he spoke.

“Well, has he ever been late before?”

“Y-yes,” Jaskier stuttered. “But this was a dangerous contract. I...I didn’t want him to go. But he insisted.”

“And now you’re worried he’s injured,” Rosemary finished.

Jaskier nodded, not trusting himself to speak again. 

Rosemary frowned and squeezed his arm.

“Geralt’s a strong man, and a smart one, too. I’m sure he’s fine. He probably got pulled aside by some other task. Someone else needing help. He seems the type to step in, doesn’t he?”

“Y-yes,” Jaskier whispered. “B-but I have a bad feeling.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. Here,” she moved to pour him some harder alcohol, “Take this. It’ll calm you down. You can have another if you need it.”

Jaskier stared at the glass sitting before him. He supposed it couldn’t hurt.

00

Half an hour later, Rosemary was regretting giving Jaskier the drink. He looked much paler than he had when he’d come in, and was leaning heavily on his arm. The look on his face was as if his mind were somewhere else, far away, caught up in worry.

“Jaskier,” she said, taking the empty glass away. “Are you alright?”

Jaskier looked at her, eyes wide. All he could imagine was Geralt lying dead, or worse, dying somewhere, alone, with no one to help.

The thought plus the alcohol made him dizzy. It was too much. He gripped onto the counter as if his life depended on it.

“Alright, alright,” Rosemary said, coming around to the other side. She rested a hand on Jaskier’s back. “Come on. You need to lie down.”

Jaskier allowed her to help him up, and walked along numbly with her back to her rooms.

00

Feeling somewhat responsible for the state that the bard was in, Rosemary helped him into her bed and had asked her sister to cover for her. Jaskier looked so young right then, as if he were a scared teenager, and it brought out her maternal instincts.

As she laid a blanket over him, she sat near him and began to rub his back again.

“Geralt will be fine,” she reiterated. “He’ll be back before you know it. Why don’t you try to get some sleep? I bet he’ll return in the morning before you wake.”

Jaskier shook his head, sniffling as the tears began to come. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without him,” he whispered, gripping onto the pillow. “I don’t know how I’d live.”

Rosemary frowned. Jaskier always seemed so outgoing and independent, it was odd hearing how reliant he felt on Geralt.

“If, and that’s a big if, something were to happen to him, you could stay here,” she offered. “You wouldn’t have to be alone.”

Jaskier sniffled again, feeling his stomach start to burn. He hadn’t eaten at all that day, feeling too nervous to do so.

When he didn’t respond, Rosemary ran a hand through his hair, the way she had done for her sons when they were younger and upset.

“He’s fine, Jaskier. He’ll be home soon. Close your eyes and try to rest.”

Jaskier did as he was told and reached out for her. Rosemary held his hand until he fell asleep.

00

Geralt returned early in the morning. Rosemary had fallen asleep just a few hours prior, but her sister had woken her when he walked in. She quietly checked on Jaskier and noted he was still asleep, now gripping the pillow once again. The poor man, she thought to herself. She’d have to give Geralt a piece of her mind.

She returned to the bar to find Geralt standing nearby, clearly beat up but capable of standing on his own. It looked more like surface cuts to her.

“You’re back!” She said. “Your bard was worried.”

A look of worry passed over Geralt’s features. 

“Where is he?”

“In my rooms. He was panicking over you. Thought you were dead. He cried himself to sleep.”

Geralt’s shoulders slumped. He had a feeling something like this might happen. Jaskier tended to panic whenever he was gone too long, especially in more dangerous situations.

“A mother and her children were injured in the fight. I had to take them back to their town,” he told her. 

“I understand,” Rosemary replied. “I’m just telling you what happened.”

Geralt nodded.

“Take me to him?”

“Of course.”

00

When Jaskier woke, it was to the feeling of someone rubbing his shoulder. He cracked his eyes open to see Geralt sitting next to him. He quickly moved to sit up.

“Geralt!” He pulled the larger man into a hug. “You’re alright!”

“Yes,” Geralt told him. “But I heard you weren’t.”

Jaskier pulled back upon hearing this, embarrassed. 

“I was worried,” he admitted. “I’m sorry.”

Geralt shook his head.

“I’m the one who is sorry. I can explain later. For now, we should get you to our room. Rosemary would like her bed back I’m sure.”

Jaskier allowed Geralt to help him up, and together the two walked back.

00

Despite having gotten a little rest, Jaskier still felt exhausted. He crawled into bed immediately, motioning for Geralt to join him. The larger man took off his armor and did as asked, then pulled Jaskier close to him.

“I’m sorry I worried you so much,” he said, wrapping an arm around the bard. 

Jaskier shook his head before resting it against Geralt’s chest.

“I just… I can’t imagine life without you,” he admitted. Just the thought made his chest feel tight again, and his muscles began to tense. 

Geralt noticed this and began to rub his back.

“I won’t ever leave you.”

Jaskier sighed loudly upon hearing this.

“Geralt, how can you be so sure? I had no idea what happened to you. All I could think was that you were lying in a ditch somewhere bleeding to death. You’re not totally invulnerable, you know. I couldn’t go on without you. Just the thought of it hurts.”

Just the thought of it made him panic again, really. He felt his heart rate start to pick up, along with his breathing. He could almost see it - Geralt, pale, bleeding, eyes white as he slowly died. Jaskier being unable to hold him and say goodbye. 

Geralt felt Jaskier stiffen and begin to tremble. His shirt was soon wet with tears, and he heard Jaskier sniffling. He was mumbling something - ‘I can’t, I can’t’, and it made Geralt’s heart hurt.

“Jaskier,” he said, shaking the smaller man to catch his attention. When it didn’t work he moved so that he was sitting, pulling Jaskier up with him and letting him lean with his back against Geralt’s chest.

The bard started crying harder, his whole body shaking. He thought he might vomit though there was nothing in his system to bring up.

Then a hand tipped his chin up, so he was looking into Geralt’s eyes.

“Jaskier, you need to breathe,” Geralt told him. “Do it with me. Come on.”

Geralt took a deep breath and held it, waiting for Jaskier to do the same. It took him a second, but Jaskier was able to force himself to follow along.

Geralt held it, then slowly released his breath, watching as Jaskier mimicked him.

He wrapped his arms around the smaller man, one hand resting on his stomach, the other on his chest, and he held him close, hoping the contact might help.

Together they took a few more breaths. Jaskier had stopped shaking, but was still very tense, and Geralt could hear and feel his stomach making unhappy noises. Either he was very hungry, or about to be sick.

“Close your eyes,” Geralt said, pulling him back even further, so Jaskier’s head was resting near his heart. “Listen to my heartbeat. Focus on that.”

Jaskier sniffed, but complied, forcing his eyes shut. The image of Geralt dying got stronger for a moment, until he heard the familiar lub-dub of Geralt’s heart.

It was slow, but steady. Geralt wasn’t panicking. He was calm. He was there. He was safe. 

It took a few moments of quiet listening before Jaskier felt more clear headed. Only then did he notice that Geralt was rubbing his stomach, trying to settle it. It helped somewhat. At least he didn’t feel like he would be ill immediately. 

“Better?” Geralt asked, after what felt like forever. 

Jaskier nodded slowly, still resting his head on Geralt. He was so tired. His whole body hurt.

“Promise you won’t go?” He asked, as he closed his eyes again.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise,” Geralt said. “Now try to sleep.”

Jaskier snuggled up as close as possible. The last thing he felt was Geralt kissing his forehead as he drifted off.


End file.
